Category Archives: Shanghai

When Komplet is not Complete

FART (verb): an action where gas collected in the rectum passes through the anus and into open and commonly breathable air, sometimes rather violently. (Definition source: the author of this blog post)

In linguistics, there is a thing called false cognates. A more friendlier term might be false friends. These are words that look and sound alike across two different languages, but the meanings are not the same. When you are learning a new language, these words and letters are misleading and can lead to embarrassment when used improperly. Consider the above provided definition. I know it rather well. I have done it often, especially after eating beans and drinking a lot of cheap malt liquor in my university studies in West Virginia. People still accuse me of doing it to this very day. And to those critics, I normally retort, with all the legal wisdom and judicial acumen I can summon: He who smelt it dealt it! A common rejoinder to that is: He who denied it supplied it!

And yes, I just lobbed a fart joke, which is a very low bar if you’re writing humor. Yet, stop and consider if you’re a Russian trying to learn English. Think of the following.

ФАРТ (noun): a Russian world that can mean “luck.” If transliterated from Cyrillic to a Latin alphabet, it would phonetically read as FART.

Not knowing false cognates or false friends can lead to highly embarrassing moments. Imagine a Russian immigrant in Brooklyn, New York City, trying to impress a sexy native New York fashionista by wishing her “All the farts imaginable!” That well-meaning schmuck would get slapped in the face five ways of Sunday.

I know this first hand — but not because I once pissed off a Brooklynite diva. I value my life too much to ever do that. During my first year in China, I once made the mistake of describing my clothing style as shabby to my college class. I, of course, was speaking of the holes in my pants and dress shirt. They erupted in laughter. I looked utterly confused. Then, one of my students rather bashfully informed me that shabby sounds a lot like 傻逼 shǎbī, which can be taken as dumb fuck or motherfucker in Chinese. You can rest assured I never made that speaking mistake again.

Not all false cognates are overly dramatic and embarrassing, though. Some of the most mundane can be found between the Cyrillic and Latin alphabets. Cyrillic Р actually represents the Latin R sound, and В sounds more like the English V. A Cyrillic Н is not an English H, because it’s actually N. Don’t call Я a backwards R, because it represents the sound Ya. And so on. Of course, this is not just limited to the alphabet that Russia and a large section of Eastern Europe uses. Translating the names of food dishes usually leads to some types of language weirdness. That can be from Chinese into English, and also from Serbian into English.

This is the Sunday-only menu at Yugo Bar in Shanghai’s Jing’an district. It’s a relatively new place that serves Serbian food. The last time I was in Shanghai, I was itching to try this place. I never had Serbian food, but as an American with some Slavic blood (Polish) in my family, my curiosity had been stoked and I simply had to investigate. Since I am from New Jersey, I also simply can’t refuse a sandwich and I wanted to try the komplet.

This particular sandwich consisted of beef salad — which tasted like shredded beef mixed with mayonnaise. The condiment slathered onto the Serbian egg bread is kaymak, which is like a sweet, skimmed butter after being churned. There’s also pickles and slices of a type of cured beef that reminded me a lot of Italian bresaola. Think dry-aged prosciutto, but beef and not pork as the cured meat.

image borrowed from here: https://www.pantsdownapronson.com/beef-bresaola-recipe/

I cannot simply say I liked this sandwich. This was love at first bite. Amazed — I was just simply amazed by this komplet. It wasn’t just that, either.

I loved the spicy sausages. Think of what Polish-Americans like to call kielbasa (and actual Poles freak out about that and want to correct their American friends and worst enemies with That’s just a general word for all sausages in our language! What the hell are you talking about?!?!) I write the parenthetical, of course, because we are talking about translation weirdness. It’s like the main thesis here. Anyhow, take what Americans mistake as Polish sausage and just kick up the heat a little. It’s just absolutely delicious. The sausage and sandwiches made me fall in love very hard with Yugo Bar.

Then there was the décor. It consisted of reproductions of the Josip Broz Tito “Not USSR but still Communist” propaganda from when Yugoslavia was a country and didn’t disintegrate into a bunch of extremely violent squabbling nations during the 1990s. That actually happened after he died.

Josip Broz Tito. Is he having a post-lunch smoke and wistfully thinking of a sandwich he just ate? Probably not. Keeping Yugoslavia together was a little more difficult than that.

I will absolutely not say I was transported to Serbia or the former Yugoslavia by eating this komplet. That would be false. We’re talking about a pub that serves sandwiches in Shanghai, after all. I have never been to Serbia and don’t know what the country is like. What Yugo Bar did was far more insidious. It made me very curious about Serbian food. It was so much so that I had to go into jealous-smitten-man-who’s-just-met-a-sexy-girl mode. I had to spend long hours using Google to find out as much information as possible. Yes, I actually stalked Serbian food on the Internet.

The results were actually confusing, and this is where we come back to false cognates. The Serbian word “Komplet” looks awful lot like the English “complete.” This is not so.

It is not a “Serbian Complete Sandwich.” This makes the sandwich sound like it is the most Serbian sandwich ever. The word complete, after all, conveys a sense of totality, and komplet doesn’t mean that. It means “set.” A friend from the Balkans remarked that the word can be used for a sandwich that has multiple elements between two fluffy bits of Serbian-styled bread —hence, a set of ingredients. In short, it can be taken as another word for sandwich with multiple ingredients.

I can imagine somebody staring holes into my face at the moment, saying komplet or complete? Who really cares, and why are you splitting linguistic hairs? And that would be a valid question. To that, I will answer. If a sandwich can send me into a tizzy of research into linguistic theory across different alphabets , I must of have loved the taste very, very much. And I did. You should try it. too.

Unfortunately, Yugo Bar is still relatively new and is not findable on Baidu Maps or Wechat Map Sharing. In Shanghai, it’s in Jing’an, and it’s not that far from West Nanjing Road and the American Consulate.

Finding Pierogies in Shanghai

There is no subtle art to wandering around. Sometimes you find things by sheer accident, and sometimes you don’t. Recently, in a fit of culinary despair, I typed the words “Shanghai Pierogies” into Google. Why? Real Polish food is the rarest of treats for me. I say that as somebody with Polish-American blood. Only, like any cuisine, it has lost some of its authenticity once it immigrated to US soil and changed over a generation or two. For many Americans, Polish food can be summed up as basically pierogies and kielbasa. Possibly also stuffed cabbage. Everything else is slightly alien. Still, that being said, even the most basic American variants on Poland are easily missed when you live in China.

So, “Shanghai Pierogies.” Did that search net any results? Actually, yes — on the first page. Something called Pierogi Ladies popped up, and that lead to a “work in progress” website that at least listed a Chinese address. Once I set to actually locating the place, it turned out not that hard to find.

Over all, the place is small, and it’s in a little nook off of Jiaozhou Road. This is in walking distance from Jingan Temple and its Line 1 subway station, and it’s a relatively simple route with turns on two streets. Once you’re on Jiaozhou Road, it straight through a few intersections. As I said earlier, it’s in a nook and not a storefront facing the road. So, one has to pay attention to building numbers and look for #283.

 

The interior is actually rather cozy. I was greeted by this bit of furry cuteness. At first, I thought the cat was happy to  see me, but it’s a cat — there is always another motive in play. My selected seat was next to a heater.

There is a lot of charm packed into the ambiance of this small space, and that’s even if you forget about that cat. Some of it is quite sassy.

One might argue that this is a cafe more than an actual restaurant. So, if you sit, somebody will not come and take your order. You have to go to the bar.

How was the food? Normally, whenever I try a place that’s new to me, I normally stick with simple things that can be compared to other dining experiences. I said “normally.” Since they were out of Polish sausage, I opted for blood sausage instead.

Arguably, this is not the most photogenic of dishes. And to be honest, the name “blood sausage” used to scare me. When I was actually in Poland many years ago, I refused to even try it because I was disgusted by the word “blood.” Now, I have lived in China for many years and have eaten plenty of things that would have grossed out my former, squeamish self.  Turns out, blood sausage is quite delicious when paired with scrambled egg whites, bread, and warm pickles. Of course, I also had to try what I had Googled in my fit of culinary despair.

There seems to be an infinite number of pierogies to be had. Americans normally eat the potato ones in large quantities. They are sometimes the only variety you can find in a standard supermarket’s frozen food section. If I had been having a pierogi craving, it would have been for that particular type. They did not disappoint.  In fact, there are so many types of pierogi available at this place — including an intriguing duck stuffed one — that I absolutely want to try. Also, the menu is filled out with other traditional Polish dishes like bigos hunter’s stew and much more. So, it’s almost like I have no choice. Next time I am in Shanghai, I am going to have to go back.

Pudong’s Way Station

When you are an expat living in places like Changzhou, Wuxi, Zhenjiang, and some of the smaller satellite cities around those prefectures, getting to Pudong International can be a bit of a drama sometimes. This is more the case when you are on a university teacher’s salary and need to travel on budget. You don’t have the deep pockets of an engineer or a business man, and there is no hiring a private driver; you basically have to take a combination of train, subway, and coaches just to get to the airport — and that is just the beginning of a longer journey back to the west. And, sometimes, even logical plans and preparations can go awry.

I know this because I am writing this in New Jersey. It’s that time of year when I go back to America to see my family. Part of my plan involved going to Pudong a night early and staying at the hotel there. Only, no rooms were available once I arrived, and when that happens, one of the airport employees / ushers points you at an booking office that will help you find lodging elsewhere. 

I eventually ended up in a shuttle bus to a nearby hotel. By close, I mean 7 kilometers and in a village near a highway’s on and off ramps.  If you are not careful, you could end up in a “super bargain” of a hotel. Of course, “super bargain” could be a euphemism for something like this…

I ended up here because I thought a representative standing near the Korea Air help desk was some how affiliated with that airline. He wasn’t. This bit of lodging was located on a back street next to a decrepit canal.

Because of a flight scheduling mishap, I ended up staying here for two days. Before anybody suspects that this is the beginning of a horror story, let me just say it isn’t. I have very low standards for hotels — all I need is a clean room, a clean bathroom, a functional shower, wifi, and a desk. If I have that and a cheap lodging price, I am extremely happy. Pools? A weight room? A swanky bar? A fancy restaurant? All that is pretty much useless to me. I am also a guy that doesn’t mind wandering places unfamiliar to me, and I certainly spent a lot time doing that.

At first, Jiangzhen — the town I was in — seemed like a dusty little backwater of Shaghai’s Pudong New District. The major industry here are solely hotels serving overflow passengers needing a temporary accommodation.  I chose to try hard to not look at it that way, and I tried to wander to get a sense of the landscape. I felt watched, quite frankly. Especially by this guy …

Clearly, one of the most epic mustaches in Shanghai.

This all sounds bad, but the entire area has some basic amenities for international travelers that may end up here a night or two.

Starbucks, a Burger King, a KFC, and a few other things. Those are not reasons to come here. Most international travelers do not choose to visit a place like Jiangzhen. None-the-less, they end up here, and time seems to slow down as if you have no other place to go.

Either way, the Jiangzhen area was better than a similar area I stayed in last year while traveling to the USA. That was Hongqiao — their hotel overflow area had nothing, the ATMs were all out of money, and the whole area was a construction site with people staying in it. To that end, Jiangzhen seems a bit cozy.

Great Pastrami at Tock’s Montreal Deli

When I raised the sandwich to my mouth,  it fell apart into a disgusting pile of steak, mayonnaise, corn kernels, and more. I glared at the mess on my plate.  I tried to quell my mounting rage, because — well — sane people don’t lose their minds over hoagies. Also, I shouldn’t have gotten so excited that a new sandwich place opened at Xinbei Wanda Plaza. I set myself up for disappointment.  In the end, I told myself that this is normal for a Chinese city like Changzhou.  The Dragon City is not Manhattan, Brooklyn, or New Jersey. Jewish delis do not exist here.

One does, however, exist in Shanghai, and to say it’s awesome is an understatement. They smoke their own meat and make their own pastrami. In Canada, this would be called “Montreal smoked meat,” but it’s essentially the same thing as pastrami. Montreal does have a legacy of Jewish immigration that also brought kosher deli traditions, and that’s what gives Tock’s — on the other side of the world in China — unique character.

Obviously, the pastrami is the signature menu item, here. It’s featured a few different sandwiches and platters. There are three versions of this cured and brined beef, too, and the differences depend on how much fat you are willing to consume. So, there is a lean, a medium, and a fatty version that you can specify. The times I have eaten there, the waitstaff have always recommended “medium” as the most popular among regular customers. That’s what I had, and it was just perfect, and pastrami really is my favorite lunch meat of all time.  It’s one of the few thing I actually miss about living in New Jersey. I guess you can say that’s also why this deli really was “love at first bite” for me.

As for the two other specialties available, there is smoked duck and smoked chicken. The smoked duck is just glorious. The resulting sandwich was just meat and bread, but the flavor of the meat, piled high and served warm, could give Tock’s pastrami a run for it’s money. While very good, the duck here will always come in second, however.

The smoked chicken is in a distant third. Don’t get me wrong. It’s good, but it just does not have the strong, distinctive flavor of pastrami or duck. Tock’s has a menu option where you can have two different meats within one sandwich. It would be best to pair the chicken with the pastrami or the duck. Pairing the duck and the pastrami would be a bad idea, since you would have two unique, complex flavors clashing with each other.

Tock’s also has poutine. This is a food nearly all my Canadian friends are passionate about. In other English languages cultures, we would call these “wet fries” — fried potatoes smothered with a topping. In that regard, I guess you could argue that “chili fries” would be an American version of poutine. In Canada, this delicious bit of junk food has gravy and cheese curds as basic toppings that could be built upon. Tock’s provides this, but they also have versions that include chopped smoked meat. You can either order a large portion of whatever poutine preference, or you can pay extra and have your side of fries jazzed up beside your sandwich.

I have always left Tock’s stuffed and satisfied. Every time I go there, or some of the other great food places in Shanghai, it gives me the patience to persevere through some of the more blundering attempts you might find in Changzhou start-up sandwich places. That’s not to say Changzhou is bad; I live here and it’s my point of reference. You can find similar experiences in other smaller-sized Chinese cities. In short, Tock’s is absolutely worth a stop while you are visiting  Shanghai and conducting other business.

Tock’s Montreal Deli can be found in The Bund. It is walking distance from the East Nanjing Road subway station, which services Line 2 and Line 11.  It can be found on Henan Road.

Baolong Homelike Hotel: Convenient But Boring Hotel Location

 

Recently, I was on my to Shanghai’s Pudong International for a flight back to New Jersey. I went a day in advance with the idea that I would stay overnight and not have to rush. I eventually missed that flight, but that is another story for another time.  At the time,  I didn’t have a reservation, and lugging a bulky suitcase around Shanghai while looking for a vacancy didn’t seem like a good idea. You could classify that as poor planning on my part, actually.  So, once I got off the train at Hongqiao, I figured I would try the Tourist Information Service desk.  I quickly learned that they could hook me up with a hotel that would send a driver to pick me up. The total one night room charge was 420 RMB, so I thought to give it a try.

 

Baolong Homelike Hotel was about a five minute drive away. From the exterior, it looked nice. The inside looked nice too.

The room itself seemed comfy and cozy.

However, my visit started to go a little downhill quickly. I need to quit smoking, and had I brought my vaporizer, this wouldn’t have been an issue.

Baolong is a completely smoke free hotel. There are bilingual notices everywhere — specifically where public ashtrays used to be. People still use some of them as ashtrays, though.  Another issue was this.

This was the view from my window. The clanking and banging of construction actually went through the night. Then there is the area around the hotel itself.

There really is nothing in this area but construction and other hotels servicing travelers from Hongqiao’s airport and train station. The shopping options around here were extremely limited.

There was a small shopping center with a grocery store. The “pizza and Chinese” place didn’t actually have pizza on their menu. The other strange thing about this place was all of the people sitting around on their cell phones, bored. Did I say this area of Shanghai really doesn’t not have much of anything to do? The other, more annoying problem was this.

The area is filled with broken, non-functional ATMs. The only one that did work had no cash in it. The more bizarre thing were doors that promised access to a cash machine, but that was until you opened them.

And saw nothing but an empty wall and your own shadow. So, the final judgement on Boalong Homelike Hotel goes like this, and I would say this for all the hotels in this area. The only reason to book a room here is if you have a layover and need to kill time while being conveniently not that far away from Hongqiao’s airport and train station.  It’s not a suitable midway point if you are trying to break up getting to Pudong International while traveling in from out of town.